On Tuesday night there was a Channel 4 documentary about what has happened to Herr Bobbit since his former wife divested him of, well, his Bobbit. It was the usual semi-exploitative drivel you’d expect such a programme to be, but it did remind me that for a while I thought JWB to be quite the ten-out-of-ten dumb Yankee eye candy.
Indeed, it also reminded me that in the dim and distant days where anything was deemed worth of an item on The Late Show (a topical arts programme I worked on throughout the first half of the 1990s for anyone who doesn’t know) we almost made a piece about Bobbit’s post-chop career as a fledgling porn star and celebrity about town. So serious were we in our ‘research’ that we had an employee then filming in the US sneak us back a copy of John Wayne’s first video, the ‘hilariously’ titled Uncut. Only two things really strike me as memorable about this laughably inept video – firstly, that in his premiere sex scene, when two nurses in the hospital come to his bed to (ad)dress his ‘wound’, JWB has quite a hard time of, well, getting hard. The other is that in the recreation of the crime night that opens the tape, as the actress playing spurned wife Lorena throws the severed member from her car, it lands at the feet of a traffic cop played by (of all people) Lemmy from Motorhead. A genius piece of casting.
Pictures of Bobbit are surprisingly thin on the ground on the internet, which just goes to show yet again how dumb rubber-faced jocks, like fat hairy men, are not a widely appreciated Object Of Lust.